How do we separate frends, family and colleagues on Facebook without offending them? And, how do we “un-friend” someone or decline an offer to “friend” without causing a rift?
Where do we draw the line between self-expression — on blogs, social networking sites or, even when writing up book reviews — and work responsibilities or career aspirations? Especially, when doing things anonomously may mean giving up earned credibility in ones area of expertise, but using ones experience means exposing identity.
I am pretty sure that when you put separate your friends into the different categories, i.e. friends, co-workers, etc, which the people don’t see that they have been separated like that. You can also change the privacy settings for each of those groups as well. It helps you to keep for over sharing information with those you might not want to. Like with co-workers. This function is really helpful; though sometimes hard to maneuver…It took me a while to figure it out.
The un-friend is always a touching thing. I do it when I feel like I don’t really communicate with the person often enough to warrant sharing with them on Facebook. But if you see them out, they could mention it. I had that happen once and it was pretty awkward. But it comes a point, at least in my opinion, which we need to be less worried about other people and make sure we are happy and comfortable with ourselves first.
Posted by tashamartin13 | January 31, 2012, 5:26 pmSo far I haven’t heard any complaints from my family members because I limit what they see on my page. I’m usually the one who un-friends or blocks people because I know I’m straightforward and I feel facebook shouldn’t be treated as a sensitive matter. If I despise you or I have no interest in your life then too bad you’re the leftovers I throw away. Fortunately, I have 258 friends whose lives keep my ADD rolling high lol.
I’ve had old friends un-friending me because we both know how our relationship is, I don’t know how it is on their end but from my point I have no animosity toward anyone who un-friends me. Friends from elementary to high school are different; them adding me or vice versa is like us catching up, staying connected and such.
Posted by Zack Ui | January 31, 2012, 11:56 pmMaybe I’m a jerk, but I have always felt that if someone pays enough attention to a pending friend request that they notice if it is accepted are not (they are not specifically notified with a message if a request isn’t accepted) then the relationship should be important enough to warrant a message. If I get a message along with a friend request I find it easier to explain to the person why I have or haven’t accepted them. If denying, I find it easy to explain that I am trying to keep my friend list tailored a certain way and some relationships are better kept off of social networking sites. Any real friend of mine should understand that.
As far as self expression, I am honest and 100% myself everywhere online. If something about my life would be objectionable to an employer, that particular job is probably not a good fit for me anyway.
Posted by benjamin thomas-kennedy | February 1, 2012, 9:45 amAdjusting the privacy settings to your page would be my best guess. Limit what post people can see one by one. This may be a highly laborious process but it’s absolutely essential in maintaining your ‘not so personal’ information. If you have someone who is really that sensitive about what is posted on your page, chances are that you should not be friends with that individual in the first place. As far as un-friending people on facebook goes, just un-friend them. There are no notifications for un-friending people so chances are that if you don’t keep in contact, they probably won’t even notice.
Posted by PhotoDensity | February 1, 2012, 5:22 pmI, personally, clean out my friends list about every six months or so. If I don’t know them well or don’t interact with them at all I’ll usually delete them. They aren’t people I see regularly, if at all, so who cares? If they don’t like it, so be it. I’m not usually worried about offending anyone. I also have a strict “no co-workers rule.” If someone from work asks me why I haven’t friended them, I just say I don’t do co-workers and they usually understand. I’m friends with a lot of my cousins on Facebook but I don’t friend the grownups (at least more grownup than my cousins)… No aunts or uncles or parents. Nothings more uncomfortable than having to explain a less-than-tasteful photo of yourself to your 60 year old aunt.
Posted by gmkeller | February 1, 2012, 6:40 pmHow do we separate frends, family and colleagues on Facebook without offending them?
I think the electronic barrier has confused people, but as I see it, we can treat ‘friend requests’ on facebook with different groups, just like we do real friends in real life. If you have a coworker who wants to go out to happy hour with you after work when you mentioned you were going with your friends, you politely say ‘Sorry, it’s a private party, but maybe some other time?’ and you set something up with them individually. Just like you would accept someone on facebook, and restrict their settings so that they can only see what you want them to see. Removing friends on facebook is just like drifting away from friends in real time – say you’re going offline for a bit, and remove them. If they are someone who is going to be upset by un-friending, maybe they aren’t worth worrying about?
The world on the internet is scary because it has the memory of an elephant – it never forgets. So I have always treated what I say on the internet as if it is written in stone. Even anything anonymously posted can often be traced back to an IP address and to an individual user – or more importantly, if tracked to being used on a company machine / time, can cause that individual to lose more than just credibility, but their job. Simply, do not write anything online that you wouldn’t want repeated in front of anyone who has to judge your credibility or your moral character.
Posted by oraclegordon | February 1, 2012, 6:40 pm